Our First-Ever Guest Article!

Last week, my friend and editor Valerie Utton shared the gist of two first-conversations she had with two different people. I found these conversations fascinating and so on point when it comes to how we communicate in general, that I asked her to share them in my first guest-written article.

Something that always amazes me is how a simple word or two can change the direction of someone’s thoughts on a dime. This happened to me twice this past week during two different online networking meetings.

During one meeting, I was listening to a very nice woman share her 5-minute pitch. In her first sentence she started describing how she helps people manage the “energy” in the space around them so they would be in better alignment with… well… she didn’t actually say. Her next sentence included the words “home design” though, and I thought… okay, she’s an interior designer who works with energy. A few sentences later, I heard a concept that reminded me of feng shui. So now I think she’s an interior designer who incorporates energy work and feng shui.

I was wrong on both counts and still am not sure what she does. But, as strange as this will sound, it’s not because she did a bad job of explaining what she does. It’s because after I recognized a few words that made sense to me, I started listening for more words that would confirm I was right about her being an interior designer who works with feng shui and energy. I never heard them because that’s not what she does.

At the next meeting, I had the same experience, except in reverse. I was in a Zoom room with a woman I didn’t know and started sharing how I help people strategize, develop, and create content so their messaging resonates with their ideal peeps. She asked me which social media platforms I was proficient on. I explained that I work with content, which can be adjusted to fit the parameters of any platform. She asked a couple more questions and in answering them, I realized she wasn’t getting what I did.

She went on to ask me about my experience with Tik Tok and Instagram. When I said I wasn’t using those platforms, her next question was delivered with a fair amount of attitude. “How can you be a social media strategist if you don’t have experience with Tik Tok or Instagram?”

Bingo. When I started sharing what I do with her, she heard the words “content strategist,” and for some reason, her mind added the words “social media” in front of them. After that, she was listening for more words to confirm I was a social media strategist. When she didn’t hear them, and I subsequently failed to answer her questions from that perspective, she made the decision that I didn’t have the skill or expertise I was claiming to have.

This is the amazing thing about words. We choose words that resonate with us… which is absolutely the best starting point. But when we’re speaking about what we do, we need to start with a word or two that’s general enough to resonate with the person we’re speaking to. If we don’t, they’re going to fill in the blanks with words that make sense to them.

After we provide that general category, it’s time to be more specific about what we do so the person listening can then decide if we’re offering something they could use. For example:

• I’m going to try starting my pitch with the word “editor” and then narrow it down to my specialty as a content strategist, etc.
• A realtor could say they’re a realtor first, and then narrow down to their specialty as an agency owner, buyer’s agent, etc.
• A coach could start with their general topic, like a mindset coach, and then narrow it down to a specific that allows someone to decide if it’s coaching they would benefit from.How will you know if someone is struggling to understand your pitch, introduction, etc.? Look at the person/people you’re speaking to. If at least one person isn’t nodding their head in that universal “I get what you’re saying” nod, chances are very good you’re being too generic to capture their attention, or so specific that they’re struggling to understand what you do.

  Sadly for me, I can only live in the hope that I’ve achieved the balance between being both generic and specific enough for this article to have your head nodding.

  Valerie Utton
  I believe that for us as speakers, this discussion brings it all back to knowing our audience and accepting how everyone comes to our conversation with their own experiences and predetermined ideas. Valerie’s encounters point out our natural tendency to want to pigeon-hole people into comfortable mental boxes so we can understand and follow what they’re saying.

  It’s our job to know where our audience is and to build from there, rather than make the mistake of assuming they have a general understanding of what we’re speaking about. For some great tips on how to make sure there are no “pigeon-holes” in your presentation, stay tuned for August 8th’s newsletter.