It takes real work to book speaking gigs, so when we officially add them to our calendar, it’s both exciting and rewarding. Sometimes though, things happen that kick our butt and the last thing we want to do is speak. It’s usually not our fault. We didn’t plan for this to happen and we’re not happy about it. So what do we do now?
The first thing to do is to be honest with ourselves. Is this a situation where we could speak but we’re really struggling to get ourselves ready or motivated to speak? Or is it a situation where we literally just can’t speak at all. It does make a difference, but either way we’re about to put the person who invited us to speak in a real bind.
If you’re in a situation where you don’t want to speak, you’re not 100%, or you’re struggling to feel good about speaking, don’t throw in the towel yet. Instead, consider these four ideas for reframing your mindset so you can honor your speaking commitment.
- Re-engage with your WHY. You’re an expert in your topic by choice. There are things you love about your topic. Remind yourself of three things in your talk you love sharing with your audience.
- Think about how it feels when you see the “light go on” for people in your audience when you’re speaking. Remember times when it happened. It’s one of the best things about being a speaker… when we speak, we can literally change someone’s life for the better!
- Get physical to get endorphins running through your body. It doesn’t have to be a full-on workout. Take a walk. Turn the music up and dance around for a while. Play with your dog, or play your favorite sport. For me, playing tennis works every time. I find that when I play, I don’t concentrate on anything except that little yellow ball. It’s great for clearing my head, which then prepares me to move on to something else… like delivering an awesome talk.
- Think about the questions people are likely to ask once you’re off the stage. Practice answering those questions, out loud, with a smile (if a smile is appropriate).
What happens if you’ve tried all of the above, or the life event you’re experiencing is more serious and you simply can’t speak? First and foremost, take care of YOU! Next, it’s time to take that tough step… letting your planner know. Whether you do or don’t have a rapport with the event planner, be upfront and honest with them about what’s happened. They might just tell you not to worry about it and wish you well. But then they’ll hang up and say, “What do I do now!” Here are four possible ways you might help them “save the day” and reduce their stress.
- Offer another speaking date. You won’t know if they have the flexibility to postpone the event or rearrange speakers unless you offer.
- If you have prerecorded videos of yourself delivering your material, maybe you could offer this as a no-charge option.
- Do you have a friend and/or associate you’re comfortable recommending as a speaker who has a talk similar to yours? Check their availability first before sharing their contact info with the planner. Whether they use that person or not, at least you’ve provided them with an option.
- Always remember to thank the organizer for their understanding. They still might not be happy with you, but at least you’ve done your best to do what you could in a bad situation.
Life definitely does not always go as planned. Even when it doesn’t though, we still have to decide how we’re going to handle tough situations. Doing our best to help a planner up front will show us off as the true professional we are, and make it all the easier to re-engage with them on the other side.
‘Til we speak again….
~Beth