Something I hear a lot after I’ve spoken is how relaxed I look when I’m at the front of the room. For the most part, it’s true. I am relaxed. But that’s definitely not where my interaction with public speaking began. Instead, my road towards becoming relaxed and confident on stage began with two solid years of saying “no” to every speaking opportunity that came my way.
I wanted no part of delivering a presentation. When I first started At the Podium, my tag line was: “Connecting business professionals to speaking opportunities.” Anytime I was asked to speak about the what and how of this (in other words… asked to share my expertise), I always said, “No thank you. I’m a behind the scenes person.”
Obviously, I did my elevator pitches and even a few 10-minute spotlight presentations in my BNI group. But that was it, until I joined a speaker group. It was networking with these folks and hearing them speak that finally challenged my thoughts about me speaking. In fact, I delivered my very first signature talk to them.
Now, after working with all kinds of speakers, it’s easy to spot two myths and a truth that keep showing up again and again.
#1: Experienced Public Speaker’s never get nervous. This is so not true! Although… I understand the pressure of seeing someone who looks comfortable on stage and feeling like you could never be that comfortable in front of a group of people… which is a very normal response. But consider this perspective. What if it’s not that the speaker is genuinely comfortable being on stage? What if they just feel really good about sharing their expertise in a way they know is going to help the people in their audience?
From my experience, this perspective is what helps speakers bring their A-Game to the stage… in spite of how nervous they might be. And trust me… most speakers are nervous (myself included). The solution is taking the necessary steps to make sure your talk delivers… which generally makes our human mistakes less obvious.
#2: Your talk needs to be perfect. Seriously? We can know our audience like the back of our hand, practice our talk until we can confidently deliver it in our sleep, have an extra flash drive, etc. But things we have no control over still might happen—like when someone accidentally spills coffee down our front, or when your internet keeps disconnecting you from your audience.
The best you can do is make a list of the things you’re most afraid of happening and come up with a plan for each one. Then, if something does go wrong, you’ve either learned a valuable lesson you’ll never forget… or have a great new story to tell.
Truth: Anyone can speak! This is especially true now with the popularity of virtual public speaking. Make no mistake though, your virtual talk still has to rock every bit as much as an in-person talk. Either way, public speaking only requires 3 things:
1. The courage to help people solve their problem.
2. The determination to share your expertise about how to solve their problem.
3. The patience needed to give yourself the opportunity to grow as a speaker.
Oddly, the fear of public speaking is not a truth or a myth. It’s just something we feel when we’re not sure what will happen if we start sharing our expertise publicly. It’s just another fear, like when we were afraid to fall so we put off learning how to ride our bike. Or being afraid to talk to someone who turns out to be a best friend.
So put those myths and that fear aside, embrace the truth that anyone can speak, and ask yourself: What will my win-wins from public speaking be? Hopefully, that’s the nudge that gets you moving in the direction of all the win-wins public speaking makes possible for both you and your audience.
The Meeting of Hearts and Minds
